Thank you to President Marcus-Newhall, Trustees, faculty, and distinguished guests. First and foremost, Iâd like to add my voice to the chorus of congratulations to the Class of 2023! It is a tremendous honor to be here with such an impressive group of graduates. Congratulations as well to the families, biological and chosen, that have been your nurturers and supporters up to this day.
Class of 2023, what you have accomplished here is no small feat. Not only have you done the massive amount of work required to earn your degreesâ youâve read all the books, completed all the papers, presentations, midterms and final examsâbut you did it while surviving a global pandemic. And as if that werenât enough, first, you did it remotely, and then, you came back to campus and you did it all while rebuilding the clubs, the culture, the community of this special place.
Under circumstances that would challenge the best of us, you remained committed to your studies, and you refined the priceless power of critical thinking that will be the engine behind all you pursue and create in life. While the world around us is fractured by relentless cultural, economic, and political turmoil, in contrast, you have earned a reputation for knowing who you are, and what you want, and supporting one another in pursuit of those goals. You are so inspiring, and the world needs your particular skills, and your humanity more than ever.
What wisdom should I offer young people who have already transcended such epic challenges? Iâm supposed to tell you some things that will help you navigate this life. So Iâm going to borrow from the ancients:
The only constant in life is change. So said Heraclitus. (Where my philosophy majors at?)
So here you are, facing yet another monumental life change. And yeah, I know: itâs a lot. Itâs all the things! It is, first, a celebration! Itâs a moment to reflect on all that youâve accomplished, think of all the oranges youâve picked, and itâs a moment to look forward into the vastness of your future. I, myself, am an alumna of a womenâs liberal arts college. I remember so viscerally the feelings in my body in the weeks before graduation. I remember the relief of finishing my thesis! The excitement of all the events. But mostly, I remember the terror. I was a person who excelled, even, thrived, in structured spaces like school. What on earth, I wondered, was I supposed to do with myself out there in these non-academic streets?! Where was the course catalog of life? Who was the dean of work-life balance, and what were her office hours? And lord, was there a financial aid application?? I was truly bugging. A friend, who witnessed me actually quaking in anxiety, looked at me in bewilderment, and he said, âKelly. Itâs going to be ok.â
How did he know that? He didnât. I think he was simply at peace with the notion that there is no stopping change. It will come whether you feel prepared for it or not, and you must learn to embrace it with open arms. The change before me in that moment was that it was time to truly step forward off campus and into my purpose. Although I had majored in history, I had long known that my purpose in life was to create characters and stories to enlighten and entertain, in collaboration with other artists.
So that was it. If I moved boldly in pursuit of my purpose, I could face lifeâs changes bravely. Easy! I have, since then, faced many seasons of change in my life. Going from one gig to the next, playing a 12-year-old parasaurolophus dinosaur in a tiny theater in Philadelphia one day and performing on Broadway the next, from New York to Los Angeles, from single to married, being childless to becoming a mother. I am in a place of career transition at this very moment, having hung up my scrubs, and although itâs taken some practice, I am able to employ some principles Iâve adopted over the years to be able to embrace the change before me.
As someone whoâs a hair older than youâalthough my manager assures me I can still play late 20âs, in a pinchâI have a few essential tools to offer you. In elementary school, you learn the 3 Râs as Reading, Writing, and âRithmetic. The three new Râs Iâd like to share are Risk, Reflection, and Reinvention.
Risk: Whether or not youâre an indecisive Libra like me, chances are at some point youâll find yourself weighing the pros and cons of two or more scenarios, trying to determine which one will lead to success, and which one will lead to total life derailment. Iâm here to tell youâany choice you make is the right one. Because there on the other side of that choice, whether the outcome is disastrous or triumphant, is the very thing that you needed to teach you what you needed to know next in this life.
Thatâs true even when âfailureâ sneaks up on youâwhen you think youâre doing everything right⊠but then everything goes left. Chances are that your first book will be terrible, your first year as an entrepreneur will be a rollercoaster, you may find that that grad program is not how you want to spend the next three years of your life. Some would say that âfailureâ is not a dirty word. But actually, I would go so far as to argue⊠that thereâs no such thing as failure. There are disappointing and undesirable outcomes, for sure. But how can any investment of time and passion that you put into something youâve thought about, activated, and saw through to completion really all be wrapped up in that one word, âfailure?” Only through commitment to anything are you able to learn and grow, and most importantly, be able to be seen fully.
Because it is not in outcomes that our character is forged, but in process. If there is such a thing as failure, I would say that it is this: When you have ignored that yearning voice in your gut so long that she has been rendered silent. When the door to true connection through vulnerability has closed. When you say, I donât need to write that book, I donât need to dance that dance. And even in those scenarios, thereâs a lesson to be learned.
So take the risk. Bet on yourself. Life is so much more fun when you try. Have a sense of adventure and get out of your comfort zone as often as you can. Taking risks enables you to discover your purpose. And that is how you use risk as a tool for embracing change.
Reflection. Make it a habit to every now and then, stop and take stock. Donât let life fly by in a flurry of âI gotta do, gotta go, gotta say, gotta POST.â In private moments, on spiritual and emotional breaks (lord knows we need âem), take the time to hit the reset button and reflect: How am I doing? Am I happy? Are my actions in alignment with who I say I am? Are there people around me with whom I can have difficult conversations lovingly? Are my metrics for success in life based on my values⊠or that influencerâs? When was the last time I challenged myself? What is the thing that only I have that the world needs? We are constantly reaping what we sow in this life, so what seeds are you planting?
The answers to questions like these keep you rooted in your purpose. And thatâs why reflection is a tool for embracing change. So take a breath. Look back at how far youâve come. Think of the you that walked through that entryway as a freshman, and how different you are now.
Reinvention. Youâve risked, youâve reflected⊠now itâs time to begin the work of developing new habits, throwing out the old and unhelpful, and ushering in the new and generative.
And now youâre a little bit different than before. Iâll give you an example from my own experience. Once upon a time, I quit acting. My approach to the career wasnât working, I was unhappy, and frankly, I wasnât doing good work. I had given it my best shot, but maybe it wasnât the thing for me after all. So I moved to Spain, a country where I knew no one, and didnât speak the language, to work on a farm, which I knew nothing about. I rolled the dice and took the risk of leaving, spent a lot of time with my hands in the dirt reflecting, and when I came back to the states, I did return to acting. But I returned with the understanding that I mustnât conflate my value as a human being, as an artist, with my commercial value to a fickle entertainment industry. It was a small, but transformative new thought habit. Here I was, back to my old city and in my job, but elementally a different version of myself. Stepping back into my world in this new skin was uncomfortable at first. But uncovering a new perspective was what I needed to get out of the rut I was stuck in and be able to move forward.
And thatâs why reinvention is a tool for embracing change. And, bonus!! It brings you right back around to that first tool again. Taking risks. So itâs useful to think of risk, reflection, and reinvention as a cycle, a process, a form: the lather, rinse, repeat of life. As foundational building blocks: the reading, âriting, and ârithmetic of adulting.
`Why, oh why, have I been harping on this change thing so much? Well, I began with the ancients, Iâll sum up with someone a bit more contemporary. The great novelist Octavia Butler, who lived her too-short life only a little way from here, put it this way. âThe only lasting truth is change.â At your lowest and at your highest, remember this: nothing is permanent. When power structures seem impenetrable you mustnât lose sight of your purpose and your power to change. When your civil rights are at stake and democracy is on the brink, you mustnât lose sight of your purpose and your power to change. Go forth with curiosity to find your purpose, the audacity to live it, and courage to embrace change at every step of the journey. I hope you find truth, joy, fulfillment, and genuine, human connection along the way.
Good luck, and congratulations!